Caretaker with a cloudy mind

Let me start by saying, I was blessed with great parents. They are such giving people. They both worked hard to support my sister, brother and myself. My sister graduated, married and moved far away. My brother graduated and also moved far away. So here I am, living 1 mile from my parents. Our family has always been very close and have been there for one another. They use to be my caretaker, but now the role is reversing and lately I'm becoming their caretaker and decision maker. I didn't sign up for this position, but this is just the way it is. They both have been having health issues and are very needy. A few years ago they almost sold the family home to move into assisted living, but my mom didn't want to leave her cozy home and when the house deal fell thru, she shouted for joy. My dad is losing his ability to do things around the house that he use to be able to do. We are at that point again of trying to figure out the best plan of action as to try selling again and moving into assisted living, or just stay put with their familiar surroundings and me coming by as often as I can to take care of things and also seeking outside help. Lately I've been spending my day off taking them to Dr. appts. or running errands for them. My dad never fails to tell me as I am leaving "we don't know what we would do without you". Talk about pressure that puts on a person! I feel I have to live up to their expectations. So much runs through my mind, which brings me to my Title. My mind feels cloudy.
I know I am not the only person who is helping to take care of their parents. Someday I might be in the same situation, but lately my mind has had this cloudy feeling. I feel such a weight on my shoulders at times. I have 2 households to think about. It gets very scary at times. I do a lot of praying, which is seeming to help. I take one day at a time and that's all I can do. I pray every day for patience and understanding of their needs. I want to be a daughter that will be there for them, but I also have a husband to think about too. At times I feel like a piece of taffy being pulled in so many different directions. I have faith that things will work out and hopefully soon, the sun will peek through the clouds in my mind. Until then, I will continue with the help of God to be there for them, because I never know how long I will have them here.

Sister Vacation coming soon

Yesterday I found out that I am invited again next month to join my sister for her work conference in Sunny Florida at the most beautiful resort. I have so many mixed emotions about this trip. It will be my 3rd time going. I don't always talk from my heart on this blog because I want to keep it positive, but, I really wanted my husband to be able to go with me on this trip. Due to the economy and the hard hit it had on our finances, it's really not a good time for vacation. I have such a hard working husband and he doesn't take vacations often. I feel so guilty about going but he told me to go as long as he doesn't have to drive me to the airport and fight the construction. It's important to me to have his blessing about going. I don't get to see my Best Friend, my sister that often, maybe if we are lucky, once a year, and I look at it as a great opportunity to be with her. I do have vacation time I can use.

So, I had this brainstorm to raise money for my airfare by having a yard sale. In the next few weeks I will be gathering stuff I don't need anymore. It's a great way to earn extra cash and declutter at the same time. So, if things work out, in 39 days my feet will be planted on the sand for 5 1/2 days....hoping it's not oily. If so, there are 2 pools....see, I am thinking positive!

Thanks Mike for supporting my decision, I love you!

Great day for going to the Market

In the town next to mine, there's this really nice European Market in the downtown area. They open every Saturday during the Spring/Summer and you can see a little of everything there. They have fancy cheese, breads, flowers, honey, purses, popcorn's,the best pita bread and hummus you will ever eat and I could go on and on. Noah, Gray and Carter standing on the gazebo at the Market...
Miss Thang, Ivy LaRue....looks like she is in jail.

We met up with some good friends, Beth and her beautiful children....Here is the foursome, Carter, Anna, Noah and Noah....
And Ivy makes five....Then there was this little teeny tiny doggie named "Bella" who had this little dress on. She ran around playing with the kids.....

And would you believe she chased Gray and scared him? Yes, this teeny tiny doggie with a little dress, scared Gray. You had to be there....

The entertainment at the Market was "Sugarbear". Danny & Sarah and they were awesome! I loved their harmony and selection of songs. Danny grew up with my son and his family are great friends. Danny is multi-talented. Sarah graduated with my daughter and has remained good friends. I have always enjoyed watching her perform.

So, It was a great morning at the Market and looking forward to another Saturday again at the Market. Come on over if you are in the area....

Jack's 1st Birthday Party

We celebrated Jack's 1st Birthday and he was really enjoying this chocolate super sized cupcake. Jack is a blessing to our family. He is a fun loving, sweet spirited little/big guy. I keep thinking that he just might be my last grandchild, but only God knows for sure.

As you can see, he enjoyed most of his first birthday cake. He was only allowed to eat a little bit due to it being almost bed time and what the sugar high would do.
I can't tell you the feeling I have in my heart when I see ALL 6 of my grand kids in 1 room together. They all climbed in Jack's sandbox he got for his birthday, minus the sand, of course. Carter is holding Jack, Gray, Ivy, Noah and Abby. These 6 blessings are my heart! And this was the first try at the picture....hooray!

Carter, the next Top Guy Model loves to pose and perform. He wore this scarf, his latest fashion statement. He was our entertainment for the evening, rocking out to Justin Bieber's songs. He has all the moves down! I think Carter just be my ticket to retirement some day!
Abby has a major crush on her cousin, Noah. She followed him around and tried to get him to notice her....She loves to give hugs and it is so sweet. Noah's smile is very contagious.

A very fun party!

Happy 1st Birthday Jack Jack

Jackson Kent is One Year Old Today! He started walking last week and is the cutest little man. Jack has such a fun loving spirit about him. He is a comedian and loves when people laugh at him. I'm still asking myself where this past year has gone. He can't be 1 already. He has brought so much Joy to our family and reminds me a lot of my son. He is my 4th grandson and I love him to pieces. Happy 1st Birthday Jack Jack!

Trip to the Zoo with Gray & Ivy

We had a beautiful day for the Zoo. It was warm and just enough wind to cool you down. Gray and Ivy loved climbing on the fence.

To prove we were really at the Zoo, here is a friend I met there. Mr. Ape. He was quite rude and wouldn't look at me. I think he was being a tease.

Gray climbed into this log that goes to the window by the apes. He met a beautiful little girl and you can see in Gray's eyes that he thought she was really cute!
"Lou Lou" as we have nicknamed little miss Ivy, thought climbing on the fence was the best part about going to the Zoo. She wore her squeaker shoes and everyone was asking about them. We always knew where she was by the sound of her shoes.
I love this picture of Gray with the Flamingo's.

Gray with the huge aquarium of fish. He was very happy to be at the zoo, but a little disappointed at not being able to see the sea lions. Their exhibit was being cleaned and spruced up, so it was closed.
Gray sitting on the baby hippo and Ivy kissing the big hippo. Another fun day in Chicago with Steph and the kids. I love spending my days off like this.