Sunday, February 27, 2011

No regrets!

You know the saying "Live life to the fullest"? Well, my dad did just that. He embraced life with such a positive attitude and I just hope and pray that I can take on the same positiveness as he had.
Who would have thought that just hours after his 80th Birthday party with family and close friends, he would be the blink of an eye.
I have dealt with the what ifs and if only's after his passing, but what really matters is the look on my dad's face at his Birthday party. It was meant for us to plan the biggest celebration we could. It was meant for my sister to fly home for this occasion, even though she had to leave her very sick grand-child. It was meant for me to find the perfect decorations and add a bit of humor, which my dad lived for. Who knew that the birthday candles on his cake would be the last he would blow out? My dad lived for each Birthday. He always added 1 year when he would tell people about his upcoming Birthday. I have never seen anyone that loved his birthday more than my dad.
My dad was the most giving man..........
After the party was over and he opened up all his cards and counted his Birthday money, we asked him what he was going to buy with his money. He said he wanted my sister and I to divide it and buy ourselves something. This was just how giving my dad was. I suggested saving it towards the Cruise he wanted all of us to go on. He agreed that was a good idea....Who would have known that when he was moved to VNA Hospice from the hospital, the name of his room was called "The Landeck Room". I immediately thought of the cruise we were going to take. He had arrived on the big ship and was taking his cruise. He cruised right on up to Heaven 2 days later.
There are so many signs that have given our family the Peace we have needed.
I guess my message to everyone would be.....Please don't have any regrets in life. Love on your family and friends. Make today count. Have a party! Celebrate! Like I said....
I have no regrets.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Was it all a Dream?

I feel like I have been dreaming for the past 10 days. One minute we are celebrating the life of my beloved Dad who turned 80 on Feb. 11 and then 5 hours after his party was over, he is struck down from a massive stroke that snuck up on him without warning.

How do I even begin to share what I am feeling right now? I have so many mixed emotions. I have never lost a loved one so close to me. My dad was my buddy. Even though I am 54 years old, I was still daddy's little girl. He called me Baby Doll.

You are never prepared to face death, especially when it is so sudden. I am just so very thankful that our family had time to love on my dad, sing to him, whisper in his ear, rub lotion on his arms, comb his hair, and have our final few days with him before he passed. He was in a coma for those days but I know he heard us.

His service was perfect. He would have been so proud of us for giving him a perfect send off.

At the grave side, the sun was shining down on us and warming us. I can't explain it but I had a feeling of peace and knowing where my dad went was comfort to me.

I told my dad that I will make him proud and carry on where he left off. I will take care of my mom and make sure she does not want for anything.

He is sitting on my shoulder, guiding me. I can feel his presence.

Life does go on...
I miss my dad....
Wake me from this dream...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Blizzard of 2011

I was 10 years old, living in Chicago during the Blizzard of 67 and can remember playing in the streets and my brother getting his boot stuck in a big hole and leaving him there....boy, did my sister and I get in trouble for that.
The Blizzard of 2011 brought back memories. I could not believe how much snow we got. 20 plus inches is a lot of snow. My hubby went out about 4 or 5 times to snow blow the driveway and sidewalk. I got to learn how to operate the snow blower and was excited. I even picked up the shovel and helped. Since I couldn't get my workout at Curves, I got it shovelling.
It was a great day being off work and having a snow day. I have a habit of wanting to be in the kitchen cooking and baking during a snow storm. I started out the morning baking blueberry muffins, put on a large kettle of beef stew & rice for lunch, baked 3 loaves of banana nut bread later in the day. Comfort food! Mike and I even tried to drive some food over to my parents, but couldn't make it. We had to turn around and come back home. I guess that's why they kept saying on the radio "don't leave your house, unless it's an emergency".
I finally took down the rest of my Christmas decorations....I still had my clothesline of cards and my little snow baby Christmas tree up on my piano, so I figured since it was groundhog day, it was time to put all away.
So, this morning, I woke up and the sun is shining so brightly and it is below zero. I do need to go in to work, but going in later, to give the guys time to plow the parking lot.
I am just thankful we didn't lose power during the storm. All in all it was a fun blizzard day. I can say that I survived 2 blizzards in my lifetime now. I still love snow!