Sunday, March 6, 2011

Great Uncle Randy & Thoughts

My brother, Randy had not been home in 5 years. It was actually on my dad's 75th Birthday the last time he was home.
We picked right up where we left off. I love my brother. My sister and I felt comfort from him being with us. Maybe it was because he reminded us a lot of our dad or maybe it was because he really looks like our dad. The 3 of us were very close growing up. He was and still is our baby brother. He doesn't have kids of his own but always has that way of entertaining the kids around him.
It took a while for Abby & Jack to go near him, but since Abby is a BIG Wizard of OZ fan, he downloaded the movie so she was in Awe and wanted to be near him after that.
I wish he could have stayed longer than 1 week, but I will take that. There will be future visits, I'm sure.
It has not gotten easier for me with each passing day since my dad's death. I have and see so many reminders since I am still staying nights with my mom. Every place we go are reminders. Just this morning we went to our favorite restaurant in town for breakfast and everyone asked where dad was. There was an empty chair. I had to leave the table after I broke down, but returned after a good cry in the restroom. He would have ordered his favorite, Waffle with pecans and banana slices on top and sugar free syrup on the side. All of the servers, including the owner knew what he would order before he even spoke. Everyone in our town knew dad. I face having to tell people all the time when they don't see him with us.
I'm sure as time passes, the grief will get lighter, I hope, so they say.
I just want to make my dad proud and continue the legacy he has left. He was the Best money manager I have ever known. I am so thankful he was so organized, since I am carrying on where he left off. I am so impressed. I feel so honored to be his daughter.
He taught me so much.


Erin said...

I am so sorry for your loss, and the hard moments you're facing. SO thankful for our Heavenly Father who we can turn to!

Sharon - MomGenerations said...

I am thinking about you every minute, Rhonda. I feel your pain so deep in my heart. I know the emptiness and that feeling of "will it ever end." I do know that time does transform the awful grief and missing into memories that will make you smile. It may seem impossible now. But it does happen. Last night my whole family celebrated my mother-in-law's birthday. Flo ONLY wanted her birthday celebrated ON her birthday, so we gather at her favorite restaurant and laugh and share stories and let the great-grandkids KNOW her. Flo was bigger than life. I have never seen Barry cry until his Mom died. That night, he rolled into a little ball on our bed and cried to me. He said, "What will I do without her?" It broke my heart. Flo LOVED with all her soul and even when she was antsy, she was antsy with LOVE. It's been hard. I still miss my Dad every day... 36 years. But the smiles are more than the tears. I always say I'm lucky to have had so much love in both my Dad and my Flo. It makes me cherish my Mom all the more, too. I love you, dear friend. I wish I could make your pain disappear. Crying is good. It really is... xo

Jen @ One Moms World said...

Oh my dear sweet friend Rhonda! I wish I could reach through the computer screen and give you a big hug. I can't even imagine the pain you are going through right now. I do know you are an awesome daughter so you are making your daddy proud. He is shining down from heaven on you and so happy the way you are taking care of the love of his life (your mom) - It is alright to cry to my friend, it helps to get those emotions out. I love you Rhonda and just know you are a sweet spirited woman who everyone is so blessed to have in their lives. ((HUGS))